Saturday, October 6, 2012

Pearls Before Swine

It may seem like a good idea to tell a lot of people about your abduction.  After all, it was a life changing event, it can explain away a lot of weird things about you, and it's probably the best story you have to tell people at a party.

But let's face it.  Not everyone is ready to hear about your close encounter of the fourth kind.

Here's the deal. Some people who have never been paralyzed from the waist down while wires were surgically inserted into their chest and head will never understand.  It's kinda like when I tell Judeeen about how I woke up with the perfect Barbarella hair without even having to run a comb through it.  She's not gonna get it, especially when she's just spent two and a half hours under her Vintage Dazey Natural Wonder Hair Dryer and is still having a bad hair day.

You gotta know your audience.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Belva's Blog

Wouldn'tcha know it, Judeen paid me my allowance late this month and so I accidentally let my domain name,,  lapse with  So to my fans and fellow abductees, I'm just just gonna have to share a blog with my sisters, like we do with just about  everything else.  Move on over, sisters!  I've got some posts to write!

Now y'all read in my last post about Alpha Centaurians and their ability to accessorize.  I tell you, if you think I'm good with a glue gun and rhinestones, you should see what they wear on a night out on the solar system!  Thanks to those who wrote in to say you liked  my reproduction of their scully style space suits!  I mean, their contribution to our society doesn't just stop at pyramids and crop circles!
Now, a few weeks ago, us abductees had a discussion on line about how to identify an flying object.  We were able to break it down to these guidelines:
  1. Is it a bird?
  2. Is it a plane?
  3. Is it Superman?
  4. Did you lose all bodily functions when it caught you in it's beam of light and then lose track of weeks, maybe months of your life before resuming your life?
  5. Did your sighting involve an anal probe?
If the answer is no, no, no, yes and yes, you may have identified a real spaceship from another planet.  And if so, welcome!  You have found your peeps!